The
scene is an upper class Restaurant in L.A., where dark woods and deep fabrics
line the walls. Mahogany Tables and booths are placed around the room in an
organized fashion. White table cloths adorn the tables, with full silverware
placement, deep red linen napkins perfectly folded. Crystal goblets are at
every place setting. A candle or two are centered on each table with low
lighting from tastefully modern lamps above. About half the tables are occupied
when a man in a white buttoned up shirt and light grey slacks walks in and
checks in with the Maitrie’D. He has a weathered grandfather look about him,
carrying a light grey overcoat on his arm. Clear blue eyes and a humble face.
Short white hair shimmers in the faded light. He is shown to a booth by the
window, overlooking downtown L.A. from about 10 stories up. He was presented
with a menu and the MD withdrew, leaving the man to stare aimlessly out the
window. Suddenly the doubles doors open to reveal a younger man wearing a dark
suit, black shirt, red tie. He is wearing a Dark pea coat, handsome features,
dark hair and very dark eyes with a tint of red to them. He flashes the MD a
full smile, sharp white teeth. He was shown to the booth, where he nodded
deeply to the older man, almost a bow. Neither said anything, for they were
regulars. The MD knew exactly what the orders were, for they were here at the
same day, the same time each year. They had been doing that for about 10 years
now. The pair sat there for a moment, looking out the window. Then the dark
suit man turned and addressed his colleague.
Lucifer:
another year gone, another just ahead. The dead of winter is upon us, and so
shall the New Year be quick enough. All in all, an eventful year at that.
The
older man turned and looked at the man across from him for the first time,
smiling slightly.
God:
It has been a year already since I last met with you. You know, I’ve come to
look forward to our little luncheons, these annual…What did you call them?
Lucifer:
Staff Meetings.
God:
yes…and such a big qualified staff it is too.
Both
men looked at each other for a brief moment and then broke into laughter.
God:
It has to be quite sad when God and Lucifer joke about being understaffed. (Still smirking and chuckling).
Lucifer:
(dabbing his eye with a
red handkerchief)
Sarcasm! From you! I know it has been only a year but I fear I may be rubbing
off on you! What’s next? Are you going to claim you can best me in our little
duel from last time? HA! I never imagined sarcasm from you!
God:
You may have yet again underestimated me. And in regards to “our little duel”,
you cheated. You moved your Rook over a space when I wasn’t looking.
Lucifer:
(Shrugging, but not
denying it)
Well, if I didn’t cheat, I wouldn’t be very good at my job now, would I? You’re
just sore that you lost. It’s Chess, get over yourself.
God:
True enough, as you said yourself, if you weren’t good at cheating, you
wouldn’t have gotten this far.
Lucifer:
very true indeed. I have a rather long history of trickery. I mean, back in the
day when… (God
interrupts.)
God:
If you are going to bring up the whole “snake in the garden” bit, spare me. I
have heard that story far too many times, and frankly, I’m a little tired of
hearing it. That was uncalled for and you know it. You knew it then and you
know it now. You don’t see me going around and gloating about The Flood
incident, do you?
Lucifer:
(rolls his eyes) oh here we go. You don’t go around
gloating about it? YOU DON’T?! Funny, because almost every time it rains
somewhere, anywhere for that matter, a rainbow appears. And a bright
multi-colored arch in the sky for all to see, well that’s not gloating at all
is it.
God:
(smirking) I beg your pardon. For your
information, mankind happens to think those “Multi-colored arches” are pretty
fantastic. It’s called art. You should try it sometime… (Pauses, thinks) on second thought, I’ve seen some
of your work. Please don’t try art, ever.
Lucifer:
Just because you thought the Berlin Wall wasn’t and I quote “tasteful” is not
my problem. And technically, mankind was responsible for that.
God:
Oh spare me. Everyone knows you drew up the plans, found the funding, made it
happen. Mankind was responsible, what a load of rubbish.
Lucifer:
So I may have called in a few favors, put a couple ideas in certain human’s
heads. All I’m getting at is, the monument was a masterpiece.
God:
you are full of it. Masterpiece, are you delusional? (Suddenly chuckling to himself) This too shall pass.
Lucifer:
(Chuckling) That is so beneath you. A pun?
Really? Of all the things you could have said, you quote scripture?
God:
oh lighten up. Besides, it was rather humorous.
Lucifer:
(cracks a smile) for once.
God:
yes well, it has been known to happen. Now, shall we get down to business? We
have a lot to go over and very little time to do it. Seeing as I have a world
that has a lot of inhabitants that depend on me, I am on a bit of a tight
schedule.
Lucifer:
and I’m not? What do you think I do all day? Hostile takeovers?! No! In
addition to that, I have civil wars, Famines, natural disasters. And even
though celebrity drug usage, political sex scandals and Charles Manson look
like small potatoes, they take up quite a bit of time.
God:
You still have the Manson project? I thought you got rid of that years ago?
Lucifer:
(shrugs) He’s a total nutter. I use him for
cheap entertainment. Blow up the world and all that. It’s funny after a long
day at the office.
God:
You are so evil.
Lucifer:
(big smile) That is what they say.
God:
Let’s get this over with shall we? Now, some priorities on the agenda are the
newest war the Americans have started. Also, we have the situation in North
Korea.
Lucifer:
Ok. The war. Iraq is pretty much over. Afghanistan still has a lot of
potential. However, Iran is ripe these days, and thanks to some “Ideas in
people’s heads” Iran’s leader is getting a big head. Thinks he can take the
Americans in another cold war. Like that’ll happen. It would keep things
interesting.
God:
You know there has to be a balance. I’ll leave the war thing to you, it’s one
of your strong points. Just don’t go overboard. I think some of your work has
been a bit extreme.
Lucifer:
(Sighs) Taking all the fun out of the job…
God:
Just remember who gave you the job.
Lucifer:
Not like there were a lot of other applicants to choose from. Anyway, moving
on, the North Korea thing. I have to say I’m a little worried with the
situation right now. Kim Jong Ill was crazy. He was just what we needed to keep
everyone on their toes. However, his son, is, let’s be honest, a pansy. He
clearly doesn’t have what it takes. We need someone in there who can show their
arm but not use it. Any Ideas?
God:
I’ll look into it. I daresay I agree, again balance is key. Oh, by the way, did
you hear about that 12/21/12 theory?
Lucifer:
(Laughing loudly) YES! Oh that made my day. Just
because the Mayan’s couldn’t find a bigger stone, suddenly, you’re going to
blow up the world! And, if the Mayans predicted the end of the world, how come
they didn’t see Cortez coming? Priceless! I must say, with all due respect of
course, that these humans are sooooo narrow minded…it’s like they think they
know better then you. Isn’t it your book, which apparently they worship, that
says no one shall know the time nor the place nor the act but God?
God:
(Smirking) Yes…?
Lucifer:
Well…Who told these people?
(Both
start laughing hard. God starts wiping his eyes and Lucifer smacks his hand on
the table and throws his head back. They collect themselves a bit later.)
God:
and who says you don’t read.
Lucifer:
Admit it. It is rather comical.
God:
(still smiling) Touché. Now, on a brighter note,
the revolts in the Middle East seem to be slowing down. It kind of landslided
with Egypt and the like, but things are calming down.
Lucifer:
Well Duh! The moment you sent Michael to take over, it’s bound to get better.
He has that effect on people.
God:
(Knowing smile) Yes, he is good at that.
The
Waiter arrives.
Waiter:
For you sir, (nodding to god) we have
the Eden Garden Salad with our own mild olive oil vinaigrette and a BLT on
Sourdough, extra bacon. (Sets
the plates down in front of god.)
And for you sir, we have our signature Hellfire Seared Hand Cut sirloin with
red potatoes and rice. Now, (nodding to
God) would like something besides water? Your companion has chosen our
Italian Red and our wonderful Iced Tea with Mint leaves. (God politely shakes his head. The waiter withdraws.)
Lucifer:
You know, I never asked you, why a BLT? I daresay that’s not usually your
thing.
God: What…I
like bacon.
Lucifer:
Of course you do…
God
gives him a big smile and then takes a healthy bite.
God: MMMhmmmm, that is good.
Lucifer:
Positively revolting. I don’t know how you can eat such an unclean animal. You
of all people…God
interrupts.
God:
You of all people?! I’m the Great I Am, I can eat what I want. What are you, My
mother?
Lucifer:
raises an eyebrow. You suddenly sounded like Jerry
Seinfeld when you said that.
God:
My humblest Apologies, Bacon does that to me.
Lucifer:
And to think you had so many great ideas and yet you are so childish about some
things.
God:
If you don’t behave like a child once in a while, you will never understand the
mind of a child. Sure, everyone starts out a child, but it’s amazing how
quickly humans forget how to experience pure happiness like that of a child.
Lucifer:
Here I think you’ve completely lost it and you pulled a metaphor out of your…God interrupts again.
God:
Watch it.
Lucifer:
puts his hands up in
defense. I
was going to say hat.
God:
rolls his eyes. No you weren’t.
Lucifer:
How do you know?
God:
I’m not wearing a hat.
Lucifer:
…You don’t have to be wearing an actual... never mind.
God
Smiles and goes back to his food. He chews slowly and stares out the window for
a long moment.
Lucifer:
(sets fork down and
looks at the master for a second)
Where are you?
God:
(Turns to him suddenly
and smiles)
I’m terribly sorry, just lost in my thoughts. I just don’t see how after giving
them a beautiful world, free will, companions and the like, they throw it in my
face. Then I saved them all from Sin. Still, they rebuke me. They spit in my
face, and I still love them unconditionally.
Lucifer:
(Sighing) They don’t deserve your love, nor
your forgiveness. But that’s always been your thing, hasn’t it. You love those
no one else loves. You forgive those who no one else can forgive. You care and
watch over these “Sheep” like they were your own children, I mean you even call
them that. You know, maybe you should be a little more like your old self, you
know, back in the day.
God:
(looking skeptical) What do you mean?
Lucifer:
well, think back, there for a while, you were all about judgment and
retribution. Wiping out this and destroying that. The flood and the Jonah
thing, and let’s not forget Sodom and Gomorrah.
God:
And then I tried to act out of love and kindness instead of hurt and heartbreak.
And the people responded. They, and it’s true, they taught me that love trumps
over all. (Looking
at Lucifer)
Lucifer:
(Smirks) Loving Master, indeed. (Looks at his watch) well I must say this
has been fun, but I have an appointment in Moscow I simply cannot miss.
God:
( Raises an eyebrow) Moscow?
Lucifer:
(Smiles) As pleasant as these are, we are
still at odds. Enemies to the end. And I have been very busy.
God:
At odds?
Lucifer:
You cast me out. You took everything from me. I was your right hand, your very
arm for which to rule. This Place was to be mine. (Lucifer gestures around) All
this, mine.
God:
Your lust for power took that from you.
Lucifer:
But you made the call. I have never
forgotten what you did. And I never will.
God:
You have never let me forget it. You deceived Eve, and you…you knew Adam would
transgress. You knew he would follow her. You took eternal life from their
grasp over a personal feud.
Lucifer:
I proved you wrong. I showed you that these so called Men, created in your
image, are weak and simple minded. Presently, less than half of the entire
world believes in you. I am winning. You know this.
God:
You lost over 2,000 years ago. Your power was stripped from you.
Lucifer:
That may be, but I am to return to power for 7 years. And those 7 years are
closer at hand then you realize.
God:
oh, I am aware. Alas, this conversation is weighing on me, so I bid you good
day.
Lucifer:
You can’t get rid of me like some dog…
(It
gets quiet and dark. Storm clouds curl outside, thunder sounds. God seems
bigger then before.)
God:
I rebuke you! You will go as you have been dismissed!
(Lucifer
sits back suddenly, as if not by his doing, fear in his eyes. God closes his
eyes and everything returned to normal.)
God:
go…before I make you go…
Lucifer:
I’ll take my leave, but know that your time is short…old man. He gets up and
turns to go…stops and turns to face God. He suddenly bows deep.)
Lucifer:
Shalom Yahweh.
(Lights go out and come back again and God is
alone. He sits there for a second, looking suddenly tired. He gathers his coat
and starts for the door. He smiles and inclines his head to the MD. Seems to
gather himself as he puts his coat on and steps quietly out the door. Lights
fade and Curtain.
